i must be insane.

No, really. I think I must be completely mad.

School started back in November and so far, it's going really, really well. The problem, early on, was that trying to work full-time at a job that I despised while going to school in my off hours was more than just a little overwhelming.

There's a wealth of information to be learned in culinary school... things that most people don't even think about. It isn't all about cooking. It isn't all about recipes. In fact, my school actually focuses more on technique and know-how than recipe-driven cooking. The how's and why's and when to measure and when to just trust your gut. But there's more! Food costing. Purchasing. Sanitation. Restaurant design. Menu planning. Business management. Establishing a connection with purveyors. Customer service. Consistency of food and staff. Food and beverage management... the list goes on and on and on.

I was starting to crack. I was running out of gas, and fast. There will be time enough when I land a job in a kitchen to worry about sleeping 4 hours a night. It felt like I hadn't seen my girlfriend in weeks. My dog was being neglected. I was cranky. I was exhausted. I was having melt-downs over the most ridiculous of trivialities. Honestly, I felt like I was losing my mind. But I digress...

To make a long story short, I'm no longer working full-time; or part time, for that matter. That's right. I've given up the job in favor of cooking full time. And not just at school. Sure, this makes me more prepared than most. I can devote the majority of my time to studying and to cooking. When I'm not at school, I'm cooking. When I'm at school, I'm cooking. I feel like a sponge, soaking up everything I can. When I'm not cooking, I'm reading. Speaking of, I'm going to compile a list of books here shortly that I would urge anyone interested in becoming a cook to read. Yes, I said "cook". Cooking technique does not a chef make and, let's face it, I've got a LONG road ahead of me.

So that's where we're at. I'm broke. All my money goes to books, food, and cookware. But I can't help it. I love it. And, for now at least, I can devote more time to my dog and to my ridiculously wonderful girlfriend. Were it not for her, I'd never have had the courage to finally do what I feel I've been meant to do all my life. I'm a cook and, in the words of Bourdain, "I'm a motherfucking professional."