shun slinger

if you can't stand the heat...

2010-04-15T13:41:00.000-07:00

I was certain that given the fact that production on Tuesday night was over an hour behind and chef had to tell us, in so many words, to get our shit together... that everyone would be on the same page for last night's class. I guess I need to learn to stop expecting other students to hold up to the same standards that the school has set forth for us.

Oh, sure. I spent a few hours getting my prep list together. Writing my recipes out. Going over the evening's production in my head so that I was on track and in the zone. Of the other ten, only one managed to come in prepared. When asked why they weren't, rather than just admit to being lazy, selfish, half-assed cooks, the others simply tried to bullshit their way past the chef with one excuse after another.

Do you really expect that shit to fly in the real world? Do you actually think that in a real kitchen, in a real restaurant, any chef worth his salt is going to give you a pass because you didn't want to put in the effort? No. I don't think that will work out for you at all.

I never intended for the last few entries to become massive bitch sessions about my fellow students. But I still can't wrap my head around why someone would even bother showing up if they didn't want to learn anything. It makes them look bad. It makes my school look bad. These morons are going to go out there and land jobs based solely on the reputation of the school and when they fail, as they surely will, it will not only make them look bad, but it will make the school look bad. In turn, that means I have to work even harder as they bring down the reputation of the school and the chefs we've been training under.

Yes, culinary school is hard work. Yes, you have to study. Yes, you have to have some basic skills together by the time you graduate. If you can't manage to follow the standards that were set, do me a favor and just quit. I'm working my ass off and I'm learning a lot, but I can't handle having to be lectured on simple, basic shit that you should've learned MONTHS ago, had you actually given a damn and put any effort into this.

Let me repeat myself. CULINARY. SCHOOL. IS. NOT. EASY.

You make it harder on yourself and harder on those of us that are here for a reason when you don't bother trying. If you're not here to succeed, get the hell out of my way. It makes me sad to graduate with a class of sub-par cooks. 6 months in and you can't manage a "Yes, chef!" without feeling stupid? Get over yourself and, while you're at it, get the hell out of the kitchen.

mental mise en place

2010-04-14T15:40:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I've mentioned before that I can't understand how someone would choose to go to culinary school when it seems as though they really don't care much about food or where food comes from. It makes me wonder if maybe they're just there because they don't know what else to do and it seemed like a good idea. It's one thing to enjoy cooking. It's another to want to do this for a living professionally. Let's face it. Cooking in a restaurant isn't nearly the same as cooking dinner for your family at home.

That being said, I wanted to talk a bit about mental mise en place. I know a lot of cooks who have no trouble getting mise together for service. They get all their prep work out of the way so that everything runs fairly smoothly. Except that somewhere halfway through service, when things start to get stressful, they begin to flip out. Why? They aren't mentally prepared for service that night. They might know the recipes, but can't adapt to the pace of the kitchen. They get stuck and they hold things up for everyone. "What do you mean I can't saute 2lbs of mushrooms at one time in the same pan?" As they lose focus, they panic and that only makes things worse. It's a slippery slope and it shatters their confidence and this bleeds into the next night, and the next... and the next...

Whenever I head into the kitchen, I spend some time before service preparing my mental mise. I know the recipes, but I like to go through service in my head a few times so that if something goes wrong, I can fix it. Hopefully, this keeps things running more smoothly. You never know when something might happen. Maybe someone isn't ready with a garnish or they didn't realize they needed a bain marie ready for a timbale. Because I've got myself ready mentally, I can run over to help out. I'm less likely to panic if something does go wrong.

Mental mise en place is something that I think separates a good cook from a great cook. It takes average cooks to new levels. If you can't get into "the zone" mentally, forget it.

Yet, even with all this discussion, most of my peers will come in for service not knowing what the menu is for that night's production. They don't have recipes written out. They can't even prepare standard mise because they just don't know what's going on. So do yourself, and the folks in your kitchen, a favor. Take a half hour and prepare your mental mise en place. It'll make you a better cook and, hopefully, it'll catch on.

The longest two weeks of my life

2010-04-12T12:11:00.000-07:00

Man, where did that 2 weeks go? I've never slept so little or worked so hard on any single project in my entire life. Not even when I worked on a team of software engineers under a manager who had no idea what he was doing.

I know I've mentioned before that I've had the displeasure of working with people who aren't exactly committed to their education. And I've thrown up all over you guys about how they irritate me to no end, etc. So what's the problem? Remember how I said 4 of us had 2 weeks to design 1 restaurant? Yeah, here's the thing.

No one in their right mind would attempt to put something like that together in 2 weeks. Most people take months, if not years, to come up with a plan like we came up with. Now, don't get me wrong. I understand that the point of this was to combine students and stress them out and observe how they work as a team. There was simply too much work for one person to do in two weeks.

That's where the problem comes in. Of the four of us, only two of us really gave a damn about this project. We worked our asses off and slept, on average, 12 hours a week. The fact that it took an entire weekend to recover is simply amazing. I've never felt so completely exhausted, both mentally and physically.

I'm proud of what my team came up with. As far as I'm concerned, however, my team consisted of two people. The other half didn't seem to understand what a team was. And, if they did, they didn't want to be a part of it. I really wish they had quit, or that we had simply given up on them. That's not the point of the class, though. If one failed, we all failed.

So what happened? Two of us did all the work. The other two will get a grade based on what the others did. Where were their sleepless nights? Why, when they would turn something over to us, did we have to do all their work over again because it was sloppy and non-standard? How can you work as a team when certain people flat out refuse? I'm still not sure.

The important thing here is that we finished. This food and beverage management course... this exhausting and mind-numbing two week period... has taught me more than I could ever have imagined. Maybe the point wasn't to rely on your team, but to learn to rely on yourself.

When I started this class, I had no desire to ever own a restaurant. I wanted to run a kitchen someday, but not the entire operation. Now? Well, now I KNOW that I can do it. What's more, I know that there will always be problems. Disagreements. Someone will think it's appropriate to put a turkey and catfish pot pie on a fine dining menu. I lost friends. I gained friends. More importantly, I gained a new perspective.

It makes me a little sad to know that some of my classmates will never succeed in this industry. They don't want to put in the work or the effort. Maybe that's a good thing in a way. It makes those of us who desire to be the best stand out. On the other hand, they will graduate and make my school look bad. I guess I have to understand that I can't control anyone else. All I can do is continue to give my personal best, which I'm discovering is a lot better than most of my classmates. That isn't to say that everyone is like that. There are people in school like me. People who love food. Who love to cook. Who can think for themselves and not need someone to hold their hands through the entire program and remind them what a good job they're doing.

In the end, I know that I've learned a lot more than just how to design a restaurant, or do market research, or schedule BOH operations or how your budget can drive your operation upward or into the ground. I've gained a new respect for the industry and those who succeed, because not many people realize what it takes to do so.

So, to those of you comfortable with mediocrity, enjoy it now. Your shit won't fly when you graduate. If you graduate. And should you end up traveling in the same circles as those of us who actually work, I'll remember you. You made me understand how much harder I could push myself. But you started digging a grave for your career before it even started.

your first restaurant 101

2010-03-31T19:41:00.000-07:00

Man, oh man. I had a wonderful week off of school. I cooked every day. I went downtown almost every day. The East Village area is really coming along well. Which is good, yes? Yes. Especially since my newest project (I'm secretly referring to it as Project Fucktonofwork) involves designing and planning a restaurant inside and out, from start to opening, complete with budget, decor, kitchen, and interior design.

Today, some of my fellow classmates and I went to scout out commercial property in the area. We settled on a really awesome place at 921 Market, which offers us just over 4,800 square feet of real estate right smack near the division of the Gaslamp and East Village districts. Blocks away from the ballpark, right under luxury condos (which are, surprisingly, mostly occupied), and near shopping.

You know, all the planning that a new restaurant involves is staggering. I mean that. I never could've possibly imagined how much work goes into all of this. My only worry at this point is that I'm going to get so carried away that I'll end this project wishing that I had the means to make this a reality. We've got a really great idea and I'll share more details with you (not that anyone reads this, right?) as the project continues. Right now I don't have enough time to begin going into much detail. 2 weeks. 4 students. 1 restaurant. Combine that with the fact that one of my partners doesn't want to put in any work and another has me worried... well, let's say that I'm just shy of freaking the fuck out. Whelmed? Overwhelmed. Beyond overwhelmed. Thank god one of my partners has her head on straight and is capable of taking this seriously.

I've got a kitchen full of equipment to shop for. I should be buying lottery tickets, but my cynical side says not to waste money on them.

dealing with disappointment

2010-03-26T01:16:00.000-07:00

Every cook I know deals with disappointment differently. Yours truly would formerly throw huge fits, melting down and screaming and thrashing the cookware (and this was before I started cooking with stainless), getting so completely lost in the fury and anger that I wouldn't be able to regain focus for days. This is no way to cook.

But what is failure? There's no such thing as a perfect plate. The day you think you've reached perfection, you should probably quit while you're ahead. Perfection is something I (and most cooks, I'm sure) strive for each and every time I fire up the burner and start cooking. So does that mean that failure is a lack of perfection? Is failure something that occurs between the outset of cooking and the end of the dish, only to find that it didn't quite come out the way you wanted? Maybe you oversalted. Maybe you under or (god forbid) overcooked that steak. Maybe you had this ideal tucked away in your mind, this vision of what you wanted as the end result and you didn't quite reach it.

Step back. Breathe.

Now, what have you learned? What would you, could you, and absolutely should you do differently next time? Learn. Cooking is an ever-evolving process. At least, it should be. Let's face it (and this has been said before), we're not curing cancer. It's only food. Besides, there's already a cure for cancer, and it's Chuck Norris' tears. The problem is that Chuck Norris never cries. And neither should you. No crying in the kitchen. No temper tantrums, well, not over the food. Other cooks, yeah, they get under your skin. But you're the only one responsible for your cooking. And for your behavior before, during, and after.

So, rather than feel pushed down or upset or angry or flat-out pissed off about a result that you hadn't anticipated, try learning from it. Maybe being disappointed isn't always a bad thing. It makes you a better cook in the long run, right?

notes:

"boneless" short ribs don't quite turn out right. more connective tissue = more collagen = more delicious
calphalon makes a tri-ply stainless steel that is every bit as good as all-clad, but with more comfortable handles
men don't cry. only women cry. men WEEP! (just not in the kitchen)
did I mention more bones = more collagen = more delicious?
6 hour lamb belly confit is my new hero

(dis)respect

2010-03-19T00:56:00.000-07:00

So we're a few months in at school and everyone is all settled in and we're all the best of friends and we study together and cook together and share recipes and talk about food. I mean, that seems normal, right? Yeah, that's what I thought, too. Turns out I was wrong.

I can't for the life of me fathom why anyone would choose to attend one of the top ranked culinary schools in the world and NOT take it seriously. I mean, if your plan is to sleep in, smoke as much weed as possible, come to school hungover, unprepared, with no recipe cards, having done no studying... why fucking bother? Just quit and stop dragging me down. You're not only making yourself look bad, but I worry about where you'll end up if you manage to graduate. You're going to make the school look bad. In turn, that means you'll make ME look bad, and I'm working my fucking ass off because this is my life. I'm 30 goddamn years old. I don't have time to fuck around with this anymore. I waited until I was almost 30 to make the gut-wrenching decision to change everything about my life and give up a career I'd started almost 10 years prior to follow my dream. So? I'm taking it seriously. You should, too.

Have some respect. Don't show up bragging about how drunk you got last night. Or how much coke you scored after the bar closed. Or how much pot you smoked this morning to come down off your high. Or how you feel sick. Or didn't study. Stop making excuses for yourself and just quit. Because I'm tired of it. And I can guarantee you, "Uh, what are we doing today? What's a bearnaise again?" only flies when you're paying for the privilege of coming to class. Any chef worth working for would put up with your shit for 30 seconds before kicking you so hard in the ass that you can't find work within 100 miles.

But, at the same time, I want to thank you. Thank you for preparing me to work with morons like you who will surely get stuck and settle for mediocrity. Let's face it, every kitchen needs a prep bitch. Or a no-talent hack of a mouth-breather who never gets a chance to hit the line, even on a Wednesday when you're only averaging 30 covers. Thanks for getting the hell out of my way so that I can move up. Thank you for giving me insight into real "stupid" so that I know how I should phrase it when you wake up one day and ask how I became sous chef and you're not even being put on the line.

Thanks. Now go mince 5lbs of shallots for me. I've got work to do. Asshole.

high... on the hog

2010-02-25T09:29:00.000-08:00

Ever wonder where that phrase "living high on the hog" comes from? Me too, but from what I understand it refers to a long, long time ago... no, not in a galaxy far, far away. I'm talking back when the nobility would get to pick and choose what meats from an animal they wanted to eat. Anyone else, servants, peasants, whomever, were left with whatever scraps were left over. Imagine, being given the scraps and learning to develop new ways to make it not only edible, but delicious.

Take, for instance, many of my favorite dishes. Sure, I like filet mignon as much as the next guy... but 6 days out of 7 if you gave me the choice between braised short ribs of beef or filet, I'd go for the short ribs. Or the ox tail. Or the pork belly. Good goddamn, the pork belly! I've said it before and I'll say it again, pork is a gateway drug. I'm rambling. See? Just the thought of pork has me wanting pork! Mmmmmpork!

Ahem. Back to the short ribs. My thought is that almost anyone can take really good ingredients or cuts of meat and cook it. Maybe not well, but let's face it. It'll still be filet. Or loin. Or NY strip. Or [insert your favorite, drool-inducing cut of meat here]. Taking the off cuts or the parts that no one wants, and turning them into something wonderful... that takes some serious skill. I'm not talking offal here, so don't get scared (even if it is offal good!), but I was wandering through my local grocery store and came across ox tail right next to the t-bone steaks! So... I bought some. And took it home. And braised it for 5 hours. And, you know what? That $4 pack of oxtails turned out to be one of the greatest things I've ever eaten in my life.

So I challenge you, dear reader. Next time you're out and about at the market, look around a little. Talk to your butcher. Get some short ribs. Or ox tail. Cut them into 2" pieces. Flour, sear, deglaze, braise. I promise you will not be disappointed. And you'll gain a little more respect for your food... and that's always a good thing.

Braised short ribs of delicious. I mean beef.

i must be insane.

2010-01-23T02:08:00.000-08:00

No, really. I think I must be completely mad.

School started back in November and so far, it's going really, really well. The problem, early on, was that trying to work full-time at a job that I despised while going to school in my off hours was more than just a little overwhelming.

There's a wealth of information to be learned in culinary school... things that most people don't even think about. It isn't all about cooking. It isn't all about recipes. In fact, my school actually focuses more on technique and know-how than recipe-driven cooking. The how's and why's and when to measure and when to just trust your gut. But there's more! Food costing. Purchasing. Sanitation. Restaurant design. Menu planning. Business management. Establishing a connection with purveyors. Customer service. Consistency of food and staff. Food and beverage management... the list goes on and on and on.

I was starting to crack. I was running out of gas, and fast. There will be time enough when I land a job in a kitchen to worry about sleeping 4 hours a night. It felt like I hadn't seen my girlfriend in weeks. My dog was being neglected. I was cranky. I was exhausted. I was having melt-downs over the most ridiculous of trivialities. Honestly, I felt like I was losing my mind. But I digress...

To make a long story short, I'm no longer working full-time; or part time, for that matter. That's right. I've given up the job in favor of cooking full time. And not just at school. Sure, this makes me more prepared than most. I can devote the majority of my time to studying and to cooking. When I'm not at school, I'm cooking. When I'm at school, I'm cooking. I feel like a sponge, soaking up everything I can. When I'm not cooking, I'm reading. Speaking of, I'm going to compile a list of books here shortly that I would urge anyone interested in becoming a cook to read. Yes, I said "cook". Cooking technique does not a chef make and, let's face it, I've got a LONG road ahead of me.

So that's where we're at. I'm broke. All my money goes to books, food, and cookware. But I can't help it. I love it. And, for now at least, I can devote more time to my dog and to my ridiculously wonderful girlfriend. Were it not for her, I'd never have had the courage to finally do what I feel I've been meant to do all my life. I'm a cook and, in the words of Bourdain, "I'm a motherfucking professional."

the journey begins

2009-11-15T13:32:00.000-08:00

Culinary school. Believe me, it wasn't a decision that I took lightly. I love to cook, but it hasn't always been that way. I wasn't, like some people, aware of a love of cooking from an early age. Cooking is hard work, and being a good cook at home doesn't mean that you'll be a good cook professionally. Cooking dinner for family or friends isn't remotely like doing 200 covers in a busy night on the line.

That's where school comes in, right? Sure. I guess so. We'll see, anyway. Thing is, I'm pretty sure I'm more than just a little crazy. I have a good job that pays me well. I have health benefits. I know what to expect day in and day out at work now. Going to school on top of that will be rough. Add to that the fact that when I graduate I can expect to land a position as a prep cook in a kitchen and not be a part of the excitement of the line... oh, and did I mention that I will be making about half the money that I'm making now? And bye-bye health insurance. I guess you could say that I'm putting my life on the line to be on the line.

That being said, you can't really put a price tag on happiness. I get no satisfaction from going to work at my job. I've been working for the same company for eight years and loathing it. Should we have to sacrifice our happiness and personal goals for job security? For a steady paycheck? I'm a little bummed that I was almost 30 before I finally realized that this was something that I really, truly wanted to do. I want to cook. I want to sweat and bust my ass while the rest of the world is out playing, having dinner and drinks. For the next 9 months of school, I'll be working full time and going to school immediately afterward, which means that 5 days a week I'll be sleeping 5 hours a night while I try to learn and not burn myself out. Or burn myself, come to think of it.

So, follow along with me if you'd like. If you've ever been curious about culinary school or cooking professionally, I'll do my best to get you a little insight into the daily life of a culinary student at a top-ranked culinary school. Bon appetite!